Pick Your Hill

In life, we have to make choices. Some are as simple as what you will have for breakfast. Some as monumental as what you will be when you "grow up" or who you will marry. Life is full of choices that need to be made.

I heard a statement in a parenting class I used to teach, and it stuck with me:

"Choose the hill you want to die on."

The context of the statement was referring to parenting your children and the fact that, when they are babies, you can't make every moment be a training moment. Sometimes you have to do whatever you need to do to get them to sleep...rules or no rules.

This can also be true in everyday situations we encounter or even in relationships. You have to decide if your point of view or your way of thinking is worth going to the mat over. Is THIS the hill you want to die on? Standing firm on your feelings about something is important, but is it important enough to possibly lose a relationship over?

I am not good at letting things slide by. I do not internalize most things. I am not afraid of confrontation. If something bothers me, I will hold it in for about half an hour and then I am ready to discuss it. Let's get it out there, talk about it, come to a conclusion and move forward. I have never understood people that just suffer in silence and bury things deep down. Who does that help?? The only thing that may get you is a lovely, seething stomach ulcer...no thanks!

There are some people that feel like they can say hurtful things and then after some time has passed, pretend like those things were never said and go about the relationship as if nothing ever happened. I am NOT one of those people. I'm all for moving forward, but I feel like things said in the past should be discussed. I'm not suggesting that every little jot and tittle be poured over and rehashed, but if there is a big enough rift that produced some hurtful and untrue things said, it needs to be resolved...right?

Which brings me to the reason for this post: I am on a hill. I have to decide if this is a hill I want to die on. If it is, I could be risking the possibility of ever reconciling the relationship. Will I be able to let my personal feelings aside in the interest of "letting it go and moving on"? If I walk away from the hill, I have to never look back, otherwise, it will all be in vain. Decisions, decisions...

Pick the hills I want to die on? Don't mind if I do...